Burning Man arrives
I went three years ago and it was an unforgettable experience. I don't know why people take drugs there. It is completely redundant. I looked one day out the window of my RV and I kid you not - this is what I saw: a truck with a three story authentic pirate ship built on top of it just ambling by, a naked man painted from head to toe in silver riding a silver skateboard, a golf cart decorated to look like Jelly-fish, three beautiful girls wearing nothing but gold platform boots, a car decorated as a dragon spewing real fire, and a man dressed as a goldfish. It was like waking up in a Salvador Dali painting.
The only way to get a shower there is to catch the water truck that wets down the playa. So, when you hear someone scream "Water truck!" you drop whatever you are doing, rip all your clothes off as fast as you can, grab a bar of soap and run as fast as you can to catch the truck spraying a huge fountain of water. It puts a whole new spin on group shower. Or you could go to the Human Car Wash. But that's another story.
Burning Man is set up with themed camps. There is a calender of events, workshops, demonstrations and shows that go on day and night. You can get around on bike, jump on an" art car" , or walk. It literally is whatever you want to experience. There is a real Fight Club and Thunderdome and there is a Yoga camp where you can take yoga and get Reiki healings all day and everything in between. There were very silly camps - like a mile long game of Twister, the world's biggest seesaw, and a life-size chess game. There are huge interactive art pieces. You can be walking along and find this massive work of art literally in the middle of nowhere that you can play with - like the one where you jumped on a bicycle that would power a huge spinning sculpture. And there camps where people would do real healing work with you. And then there would be the camps with real Porn Stars who would teach all kinds of classes - all of this was totally free. Once you bought your ticket the only money exchanged was to buy coffee in the main meeting hall. You could just walk along and stumble into all of this in one day. And on top of all of that the weather was over 100 degrees and there were dust storms that would start up and no one would know if they would last for 10 minutes or 10 hours. You often had to jump into whatever camp was near and play with whatever life threw at you for however long it would last. Luckily when the big one hit, I was near The Freedom Community where people were just cuddling, playing boardgames and doing watercolor landscape paintings. Because there is a schedule of events it's easy to go to just the things you want to go to and sort of block out the rest - kind of like New York City. Or you can just stroll along and never know what is going to happen next - it's your pick.
Here are a few photos to wet your appetite:
Slipping Into The Stillness
And then today as I was walking in the park with my friend's dog and I just felt so grateful to have this really ordinary afternoon. I was so enjoying stepping back a bit and just observing what was happening around me. An elderly man walked by me with pictures of his grand kids poking out from the top pocket in his shirt. The dog I was walking was just so jazzed about every tiny thing. A new smell - ah! a revelation!, a pigeon - so awesome! a new person walking my - the best! Absolutely nothing is lost on her. And the sun was out in its full glory and Central Park was almost techni-color in it's splendor - and there was a three piece band playing in the park - and I thought "Yeah - this is enough." And I found such peace in that - such stillness in the details - such sweetness in the mundane.
Pema Chodron
"The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes. "
"We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart."
"We don't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts."
"Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found."
A further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us. "
"As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never
learn about unconditional friendship with ourselves, nor will we find
compassion. "
"The more we witness our emotional reactions and understand how they work, the easier it is to refrain."
"If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher. "
"There's a reason you can learn from everything: you have basic wisdom, basic intelligence, and basic goodness. "
Finding A Great Tantric Practioner
Hey All,
I wanted to put out a little checklist on what to look for in a great Tantric Practioner. This is mainly geared towards men looking for a female practioner. There are a lot more practioners in the industry now - which can be great as far as choice goes but also confusing in terms of finding someone who really will know the things you want to learn about and experience. So, here are a few hints:
1." When work,commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible" Nancy Coey
A Certification in Tantric Education/Practioner is a great thing and it's also not the main thing to look for. Many of the best Practioner I know don't have a formal certification. So, don't pass on someone just because they don't have a certification.There are other things to look for instead.
Ask a lot of questions.Find out if the Tantric Practioner has a passion for what she is doing.Can she talk a lot about it easily? Can she answer your questions in away that feels satisfying to you? Is it something she would be really into even if it weren’t her formal work? What ways has she educated herself? Many that I know who are not certified still take a ton of classes and workshops. They feel often not getting a formal certification leaves them free not to be stuck to one path but to soak in a lot of information from many sources.Personally, I've done both. Urban Tantra offered a form of Tantra that was very accessible, user friendly, kink-positive and completely inclusive. So,I am so proud to be from this school. And, I also read a ton, go to classes,take workshops, go to meetings, check out conferences and the like on top of that and have for years.
It's a lot like finding a good chef - one person could have gone to the best culinary school onthe planet and the other can be totally self-taught and both can be equally brilliant if true passion for the subject is there. It’s the level of engagement with the subject that matters more than a name of a school that certified them.
It's also good to get clear on what you are looking for. There are practioners who are completely hands-off, classically trained, and strictly educational while others are more-hands on, and eclectic in their approach. Be clear about what you want to walk away from the session with.
2. "Great dancersare not great because of their technique. They are great because of their passion" - Martha Graham
A friend once wanted me to hire a dominatrix for him. So, I had the great gift of being on the other end of things. The Doms I was interested in were the ones who sounded pleased to get my call, who had real enthusiasm in their voice, and who wanted to talk about the details of the session - throwing out their own suggestions for structuring it. The ones that I nixed were the ones who sounded bored or annoyed, answered questions just in "Yes" or "No", or were like "Yeah, I'm free. What time?"
The same goes for Tantric Practioners. Does she sound happy to be speaking with you? Does she have a lot of suggestions for your session? Does she give complete answers to your questions? Does it feel like she is listening to you and what you are looking for? Do you feel really comfortable talking with her - that she's someone you want to go spend your time with? I guarantee even if she's super hot if you don't feel good chemistry communicating it's going to be a session that feels hollow in the end. It's better to just go to a strip club if you want to look at hot women. A Tantrika really will want to engage with you - to find out how she can help, what she can share from her education with you, and just to enjoy time together. Even if it's just an hour session, a great Practioner will see you as a person - not as a money sign - and trust your instincts about that. If it's someone you don't enjoy talking with over the phone or email, it's not worth your money even if you find her really attractive.It's always better to go with the Practioner that you feel really comfortable and positive around.
3. "Be alight, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem" - Stephen R. Covey
I think one of the most important aspects of having a really good Tantric session is working with a Practioner who is really positive towards men and sexuality. This might sound like a strange thing to say - but sometimes you can come across Practioners who feel like they are going to "fix" men, especially men's way of expressing themselves in their sexuality. Avoid the Practioner who makes you feel like there is something wrong with you sexually or even wrong that you are a man.Or, they may be negative towards sexuality and use Tantra to "fix"it. A great Practioner will have strong healthy boundaries around what level of engagement is right for them while still creating an aura of celebration and joyfulness to the whole session. You want to see someone who can adequately address issues that you are having without making you feel wrong for having them or for wanting what you desire. Tantra is not about dampening who we are or washing out passion. It's about bringing a deeper awareness and knowledge to it so that we can experience it in a fresh, dynamic,and even more satisfying way.
4. "Professionalism is knowing how to do it, when to do, and doing it" - Frank Tyger
Lastly, do you feel like the Practioner is treating her business seriously? Is she professional over the phone and email or does it feel too casual or sloppy? Does she sound"together" ? Does she address all of your concerns? Does it feel like you are calling a kind professional who is going to treat you with respect? Is the level of intimacy appropriate - meaning they don't feel too distant or too casual or intimate? You want a happy medium - someone who is personable, honest, into their work, positive and professional.
Always trust your instincts and have a wonderful time.
Return of an Iconic toy (no not that kind of toy!)
The Lego Store recently opened in Rockefeller Center and it's really worth checking out just for fun.I discovered it because I thought "Why is there is a huge beautiful apple made out of Legos in the middle of the Center?" when I walked by. And inside the store are Lego replicas of all the monuments in the square. The display of the Legoland version of Rockefeller Center, complete with all the people milling about, is hilarious. There is also a huge Lego dragon that snakes through the entire store. The funny thing is the store is filled with as many adults enjoying the nostalgia of these wonderful toys as there are children. These are some of the best toys for engaging the imagination and I am so happy to see that not only are they still going strong,they've taken it to a whole other level. I hope you all get to take a stroll through - it's a delightful find.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?
Still dancing
Brick by Brick
I was browsing in a bookstore yesterday and saw a book titled "Talk to Me Like I Am Someone You Love". It is so simple and yet in the complexity of relationships that foundation can get lost.
The flashy, grand gestures of love are of course wonderful. But, what really keeps the foundation strong in any relationship is the way we treat each other in everyday life. The small, mundane actions that pass between two people on a daily basis are what speak even more loudly than an explosive display of love. It's what creates daily happiness.
Talk to the people you love like you love and respect them - show them on a daily basis that they matter, that you care how they feel, that you know how you treat them matters and so you are mindful that they get the right message consistently. It doesn't have to be over the top. It can be really simple. It can be just saying"Thank You", "You look nice today", "That was sweet of you to do that", "You did a great job on that." We never outgrow the desire for kind communication.
I think a big mistake that we make in our relationships is assuming that because these people are so close to us it is ok to dump on them. We are human - we are not perfect -we mess up. We get stressed out, frustrated or simply worn down. But, one of the biggest regrets we can have in life is hearing that the people we love don't know that we love them.
Something that so bothers me is when I am out with people who talk negatively about each other - either when the other is present or not. I can understand if a person is genuinely asking for help with an issue they are having in a relationship and are sharing things that are painful and frustrating in order to work out a solution. That's vital. But, couples who just put-down each other, especially when the other is sitting right there, is awful. They loose people's respect pretty quickly. It's an ugly thing to be around. I think it is also disappointing.They are choosing the low blow and going for the person's dignity instead of taking the high road - which is talking about things they are unhappy about privately. Also, being around people who talk to each other like they like each other is inspiring and uplifting. It's fun to be around. It makes us believe in love. It affirms what's important.
But, don't get me wrong - don't become like these people :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOJFtMYVHZg
A True Independence Day
I found out this story today from Best Friend's Animal Sanctuary. In Middletown, NY an animal testing laboratory went bankrupt. When they closed their doors forever,they left the 150 Beagles and 55 Primates locked inside. Previous caretakers scaled the fence to help the animals and called in animal welfare services. There was a brief legal battle with the laboratory , but the courts ruled to have the animals seized by the sanctuaries.
Yesterday, these animals tasted freedom for the first time. The Pet's Alive site has a wonderful account
I will be visiting the sanctuary next week to help out and will share with you all the experience with these beautiful dogs.
An evening at the ballet
Tonight I put on an elegant silky dress and ran off to the ballet. The NYC Ballet at Lincoln Center on a warm summer night is certainly a way to experience bliss effortlessly.
Everything about it is delightful. I got there early. I stood mesmerized by the grand fountain in the center. It actually is a highly choreographed fountain that puts on a water show that is as thrilling, poetic, and dramatic as anything onstage. The fountain was a beautiful reminder that tonight was special – grand things were about to happen.
I actually like the"nose bleed" section of the Koch Theater because you can really take everything in that's happening onstage. It's very easy to see the architecture of piece and appreciate the entire aesthetic that the choreographer is presenting.
Three separate ballets by three different choreographers were being shown tonight - all contemporary.Each one was dramatically different. The first was "After the Rain". The ballerina wore just a pink leotard and Pointe shoes, her long chestnut hair loose, and the man was bare-chested. Just a violin and piano for music. They danced like their love was Springtime. It was the most beautiful pas de deux I have ever seen.
I was lucky enough to find a little clip - www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFx6ezYeDVg
The second piece was adapted from a famous short story of Chekhov called The Lady with the Little Dog. Now of course I have to read the story. It's about a married couple who have an illicit affair. What is extraordinary about the staging is it begins with the man and woman on either side of a black and white stripped banner on the floor. They dance in their own worlds. They see each other but stay on their respective sides - she is dressed in black and he is dressed in white. Then in come a group of puckish dancers dressed all in gray who take control of the banner and of the two dancers. The entire dance is their ever changing relationship with the black and white banner and the gray "fates". It was breathtaking.
The last piece was actually a Balanchine ballet called "Who Cares?" He choreographed several pieces to music by Gershwin. The set was a whimsically off-kilter NYC skyline. The dances were exactly as one would imagine they would be set to Gershwin's scores - sharp, playful, elegant, and light-hearted. They brought down the house. It was perfection.
I had to share with you all this wonderful evening at the ballet. Each piece is burned into my imagination.I am full of such deep respect and awe for the sheer talent of the dancers and tremendous gratitude for all the artists who give so much just to offer two hours of pure creative bliss.
